The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
