i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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