I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
