What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
