Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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