listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize