Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
