whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
