she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
