She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
