Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
