To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
