If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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