so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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