Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
