I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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