Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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