Where is the hickey?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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