Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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