I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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