Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
