Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
