I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
