i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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