Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
