Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
