I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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