Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
