Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
