Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
