I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
