I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
