oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
