Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
