I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
