I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
