As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
