Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
