Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
