She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
