Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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