in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I died a long time ago.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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