She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
