she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
