lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
someone owes me an orgasm
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
