it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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