fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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