if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
