There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
