I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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