you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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