He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
