Nicole vs. Life
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
