im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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