Whoa Z and x make the same sound
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
